Singleness and Identity....they just go hand in hand

There is only one thing that comes into my mind, every single time I even just glance at the family photo from just over 2 years ago that's framed on my dresser.... I'm just going to say it since everyone thinks it. Yep. I'm still single. Ya there's my sister and her pastor of a husband with her precious strawberry blonde son and then there's my brother and his gorgeous wife and their 2 beautiful girls and my dad and his wife and their two littles. And me. The only brunette with tanned Hawaiian skin sticking out like a sore thumb in the midst of a white wintery state-side family.  And what about you, Chelsea? Got your sights on any men? You're still single, Chels? No one's seemed to catch your eye? And the ever so favorite of mine: You're so gorgeous, how in the world are you still single!? (usually coming from the elderly).

As each year passes..Who am I kidding...As each day passes the thought consumed me. I'm still single. Let's just get right into it. Chances are, if you are in your late 20's (and I'm hearing it from the early twenty-something-ers more and more) and you're still single, you're not happy. It robs our minds thoughts, our hearts deepest crevices. It makes itself completely at home within us. And to get real vulnerable and honest it instills lies such as: I'm ugly. I'm not good enough. I'm too tall. I'm too fat. I'll never be good enough. No one will ever choose me. And on top of all the cataclysmic lies, you start comparing yourself to every single girl you have laid eyes on, truly creating and then believing every possible way they would be chosen over you.

A pastor speaking on identity one Sunday morning asked the body the ever so simple but life shattering question: Have you taken the time to make sure you know your true identity in Christ? It hit me like a freight train and the flood gates opened. I spent the remainder of the day on the couch reflecting on this truth and what it truly meant to know my true identity. In that moment identity hit me like it's never hit me before.

I am a daughter

I am a daughter of a daddy

I am a daughter of a daddy who rules the world

I am a daughter of a king

I am a daughter of a king who L O V E S

I was created out of L O V E

I was created by L O V E

My king was in A W E when he intricately designed every piece of me and put me together

(if you read through the last 8 lines without having some trouble without possibly tearing up you need to read it again. taking a breath in between each line. stopping after every single word to let it saturate your soul).

Your identity. Is to be a daughter or a son of the most high, revered, unconditional loving father that created life itself. W  O  A

You see, I had completely and fully 100% let my singleness at the age of 28 (at the time) become my identity. My foundation was my relationship status. My constant thoughts were my relationship status. My conversation with certain people was our relationship status. On that day mentioned above I D E N T I T Y broke in with a crown and placed it upon my head and screamed YOU ARE A  D A U G H T E R ! ! ! ! ! 

Wrecked

Almost 2 years ago, while living in Kona, a person (whom I still have no clue who you are) wrote me a note that said Jesus was going to take me on a journey of intimacy. I laughed when I read it. Boy were they right.

So please. P L E A S E . Whatever your age if you're still single and upset, please get this:

Marriage doesn't fix your singleness. In fact, it complicates it more than it already is. And when you feel like relationships and marriage are literally being shoved in your face, shove it back. (not the people for heavens sake. rhetorically speaking) If you're still single and upset, God, your maker, your creator, the creator of this world who causes the sun to rise and causes the sun to set and causes the moon to rise and the billions of stars and galaxies that we cannot even fathom is in charge and no I'm not even going to say He has someone special in mind because that is not what this is about. This is about stopping and surrendering the reigns that you've managed to hold onto white knuckled for all these years and realizing He deserves every. waking. second. of your life. simply. Because.

My prayer is to just be a Mary. I just want. to. be. a Mary. To be a person who has made room to let Jesus inhabit my entire being.

If that means I'm single forever the PRAISE! All the more freedom to L O V E Him and L O V E people who need His love. There's a world of people out there who need love, folks.

Let Him  L O V E  you and let THAT be your  I D E N T I T Y

Psalm 139:13-18